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Marriage is Work

Updated: Dec 1, 2022

My husband and I have a unique story. We met in 1984 while we were in the army, in AIT. We went our separate ways after training. We lost touch. We each went on with our lives, got married had children. He returned to Florida, I, to North Carolina. Joys and pains ups and downs we lived our lives separately. Then in April of 2020, the same day his mother died, our daughter (i slipped that one in on you didn't I ?), found him on Facebook. Once she found him, he found me. So long story short, we are married now.

The ring does not have the final say. If you want to stay married, you gotta put in work.

Because we are older and have been married before there are some things that simply won't be an issue for us but that doesn't mean we don't have issues. The main one is communication. It's not that we don't communicate, it's that we communicate very differently. It's almost like we speak different languages. My husband is from the hood, I'm from a little small bourgie town. We look at the world differently and we express what we see in the world differently. I'll give you and example. My husband (he does have a name) does woodwork. I was explaining to him how I wanted my new desk. Before I could even finish telling him what I wanted, he was interrupting me to mansplain why it wouldn't work. I kept trying to convey my vision to him, but he kept interrupting. After about a half hour of going back and forth like this, I said, let's just write down our vision for the desk. Turns out that we had the same vision for the desk.

I was reminded that the same letters that spell the word listen spell the word silent.


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